Great piece and the video was fast paced and engaging as a result. Street smarts can be a curse, as well as oftentimes being a blessing. When you grow up in an environment that demands it, it becomes a major part of your identity, but as you say, covering all the angles, being on high alert with your thoughts even when alone in your bed, is exhausting, time consuming and restrictive. Life passes by while you are processing twenty different things in your head instead of being present and connecting with the people that really matter. Family, friends, etc.
Thanks for sharing. I can identify with all that you mentioned.
I drove a cab for some years. Every driver I know got robbed at least once, except for me and one other guy. Luck had to have played a part. But I learned a lot of cold reading, too. And I dressed down. (Lost a few fares to run-outs, of course. Also got a few people arrested; I still regret calling the cops on a couple of them. )
Anyway, I'm suspicious of you, Latimore. Because your posts are so on-point .
Great article. After getting a doctorate , doing an internship, residency in Chicago , I moved out west. I dated a girl who noted that I often looked back a lot when walking. Head on a swivel. I told her when you spend time on the south side and west side of Chicago , you learn to do that. You never know what’s coming after you.
Thanks for writing this. No, I haven't been physically, legally, or financially hurt (thank goodness), just emotionally have had some bad luck. But I've put up enough of a guard I was quite a ways down the path you're describing.
I was just thinking the other day too, that I've forgotten how to trust at a deep level. Surface stuff is fine, even a few layers below the surface. And there's lots of people I'm happy to work with, they're good people and I think we get some good things accomplished.
But really opening up? Nah, why bother? It'll all turn out to be lies and because-I-have-good-intentions-I-get-to-run-your-life-why-aren't-you-grateful.
Intellectually I realize that is really not a good place to be, even while that emotional reaction is still playing itself out. So thank you for writing this, it was something I needed to read.
It's interesting. I have pretty good street smarts but I also had good parents so I was trying to figure out how I could have obtained those skills.
You said you have to have been hurt, deeply hurt. I don't think it's necessarily true. I think parents who joke around with their children and play pranks can cultivate a sense of street smarts without deeply hurting them.
For instance, my mom told me once my Nonno would tell people there is a deer outside. After you looked for the deer, you would look back and see he took a bite of your ice cream. I thought back and realized he did it to me that week and I didn't notice.
Pranks and jokes might be a safe way to cultivate street smarts. Just some food for thought. (Pun intended.)
Some part of me wishes this post was not as accurate as it is. Becoming insta-astute is a great survival skill but at some point we begin to understand that we want to do more than survive. At that juncture we realize we are clueless on how to open that door to the self that has been so thoroughly nailed shut.
Idea just came to mind. What about follow Navarro to study up on the gestures that indicate openness and practice those? Not in an American Psycho way, but in the way of attitude following behavior. Practicing being in a way that suggests interest in and attentiveness to others could be a start.
My education started when I got to boot camp. Learning continued off and on after I got out. But I didn’t get my PhD until I was homeless. For an entire year. That sucked. I still have my sanity and my kind nature, somehow. But I am usually aware of my surroundings.
Great piece and the video was fast paced and engaging as a result. Street smarts can be a curse, as well as oftentimes being a blessing. When you grow up in an environment that demands it, it becomes a major part of your identity, but as you say, covering all the angles, being on high alert with your thoughts even when alone in your bed, is exhausting, time consuming and restrictive. Life passes by while you are processing twenty different things in your head instead of being present and connecting with the people that really matter. Family, friends, etc.
Thanks for sharing. I can identify with all that you mentioned.
I drove a cab for some years. Every driver I know got robbed at least once, except for me and one other guy. Luck had to have played a part. But I learned a lot of cold reading, too. And I dressed down. (Lost a few fares to run-outs, of course. Also got a few people arrested; I still regret calling the cops on a couple of them. )
Anyway, I'm suspicious of you, Latimore. Because your posts are so on-point .
Great article. After getting a doctorate , doing an internship, residency in Chicago , I moved out west. I dated a girl who noted that I often looked back a lot when walking. Head on a swivel. I told her when you spend time on the south side and west side of Chicago , you learn to do that. You never know what’s coming after you.
Thanks for writing this. No, I haven't been physically, legally, or financially hurt (thank goodness), just emotionally have had some bad luck. But I've put up enough of a guard I was quite a ways down the path you're describing.
I was just thinking the other day too, that I've forgotten how to trust at a deep level. Surface stuff is fine, even a few layers below the surface. And there's lots of people I'm happy to work with, they're good people and I think we get some good things accomplished.
But really opening up? Nah, why bother? It'll all turn out to be lies and because-I-have-good-intentions-I-get-to-run-your-life-why-aren't-you-grateful.
Intellectually I realize that is really not a good place to be, even while that emotional reaction is still playing itself out. So thank you for writing this, it was something I needed to read.
This is a really good article.
It's interesting. I have pretty good street smarts but I also had good parents so I was trying to figure out how I could have obtained those skills.
You said you have to have been hurt, deeply hurt. I don't think it's necessarily true. I think parents who joke around with their children and play pranks can cultivate a sense of street smarts without deeply hurting them.
For instance, my mom told me once my Nonno would tell people there is a deer outside. After you looked for the deer, you would look back and see he took a bite of your ice cream. I thought back and realized he did it to me that week and I didn't notice.
Pranks and jokes might be a safe way to cultivate street smarts. Just some food for thought. (Pun intended.)
That thumbnail lol
Some part of me wishes this post was not as accurate as it is. Becoming insta-astute is a great survival skill but at some point we begin to understand that we want to do more than survive. At that juncture we realize we are clueless on how to open that door to the self that has been so thoroughly nailed shut.
Idea just came to mind. What about follow Navarro to study up on the gestures that indicate openness and practice those? Not in an American Psycho way, but in the way of attitude following behavior. Practicing being in a way that suggests interest in and attentiveness to others could be a start.
My education started when I got to boot camp. Learning continued off and on after I got out. But I didn’t get my PhD until I was homeless. For an entire year. That sucked. I still have my sanity and my kind nature, somehow. But I am usually aware of my surroundings.